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People who know how to communicate with others become rich, very rich. They manage to create that harmony that convinces, that sells.
Take for example social networks: influencers are the most paid people in the streets because they know how to communicate with people. And they do it better than others. They are influencers in general because of their communication skills.
Controlling communication therefore means knowing how to control people. I’m not referring to hypnotism or anything like that. But the ability to be irresistible.
Communicating with others allows you to have more friendships, choose who you will spend time with, potential new love relationships, job opportunities etc.
How to improve communication skills? How to avoid the fear of talking with other people? How to communicate effectively?
I have a marketing agency, I worked alongside many companies. I also studied communication through art and painting. In my path I tried to learn everything I could on this subject and I want to share some principles on how to improve communication.
If you want to know how to do it, follow exactly what I tell you in this article.
I’m creating content that is part of a series about how to talk to people, so before you start, sign up for my site so you do not miss the next articles.
Table of Contents
What it means to communicate
Before knowing how to communicate, it is good to understand what the word “communicate” means.
Communicating is the process of transferring one’s thoughts to another person with sufficient intention, so that they are fully understood.
It derives from the Latin communis: the action of making common. Thus one’s own thoughts become common.
Communication is therefore not limited to the word alone, but also to the body, gestures, behavior, clothes that are worn etc.
Here is my list of 10 suggestions:
Shrink your audience
You do not have to communicate with everyone. Choose instead with whom you want to communicate and be influential. You can not please everyone. Never gonna happen. We are 7 billion people.
It’s much easier to talk to people you like, or with whom you decide to communicate, than the opposite.
So do not compromise yourself. Do not let the people around you go just because you have no alternative. Deciding with whom to communicate will make you feel better immediately. The whole communication process will be better, only for this single fact.
Imagine being with the person you want and talk about what you like best … The thought alone is really gratifying, isn’t it?
Prepare some good topics
Imagine meeting some people for the first time. Would you like to present yourself the best you can but you do not know what to say? Prepare your Elevator Pitch.
What is the Elevator pitch? It’s that presentation that you do in a few minutes of yourself, when you meet someone else (often it is also the only one).
It is called this because of the typical conversation in the elevator, where you have a few minutes of time.
Here I am at the first request: create your Elevator pitch and share it below in the comments. I will be very happy to read it.
Understand the social rules
Social rules create acceptance. People, if you respect those rules will allow you to communicate freely. I am not referring to the laws of the state, nor to the 10 commandments.
Each community each group has unwritten social rules. And they are different from group to group. Understanding them helps you sell yourself. In marketing, surveys are also made for this. An example is this: although it is not illegal to smoke, more and more people consider that smoking is a bad habit.
I wrote a funny article on the subject, read it here.
Take care for your appearance
This point could be part of the social rules but deserves a special mention.
People notice a lot of things about you: the condition of hair, hands, skin, clothes, shoes, teeth and ears. So take care of these aspects. Wearing new clothes, for example, helps you feel better with someone you just met. Smile: smiling people are more attractive. A friendly attitude helps people to let go and relax.
I have investigated this topic here in this article.
Take initiatives. Ask questions
People love to be spectators. If you take initiatives you will have the attention on you. At a social gathering the best way to stay alone is to not take any initiative, to be just a passive listener.
Ask questions a great way to find good conversation topics. The person you speak with will feel at the center of your attention. And it’s a good way to gather information. Choose questions that are not obvious. Another advantage in asking questions is that you can choose topics, and you can choose things that you are interested in too.
What are your communication techniques? If you have any, share them below so that others can find them useful too.
Grant your full attention
Did you ever talk to someone whose attention was not there? Frustrating, is it not? A simple way to understand if the person is really interested in your speech is to observe the direction of his body. If the body (or the legs, or the direction of the feet) is in the direction of the exit door, you will know that he does not really want to communicate and is not listening.
Do not use your mobile phone too often. I know it’s very convenient to take refuge in your own pre-established friendships. But do not do it. Also try to look the person in the eye. This does not mean stare at them. But looking at someone in the eye and keeping the look while conservation takes place is really a powerful thing. However if you do it for too long, you will make the other person uncomfortable. So use this powerful weapon with balance.
People are not stupid. Do not make yourself believe you’re a millionaire when you’re not. Do not tell tales. Be yourself. Each of us has its own story. You are special.
People perceive reality with fiction quite easily. I remember summer near the sea, I managed to convince a girl I was 15 (I was 12).
Difficult to keep this lie for a long time, right?
Communicate with the whole body
As we have seen from the definition, not only the word is used to make one’s feelings common. You communicate nervousness when you chew your fingers, when the leg under the table is not standing etc.
Scratching your nose constantly while you talk to someone shows discomfort. You certainly do not want to communicate discomfort with other people, do you?
The crazy thing is that the discomfort is transmitted. If you are uncomfortable with a new appointment you will also make other people uncomfortable.
It’s a kind of empathy. Ask someone to make a video of you while you speak. Observe all the unconscious gestures you make and take control.
Be a good listener
Among the people you know who is the one you turn to when you have a problem? Here is identified a good listener. Listening requires passion. But one important thing is that people feel the patience and the willingness to listen to them.
Be willing to be present at a conversation (not wandering with your thoughts) and listening. People will adore you for this.
How to remedy the fear to talk with other people? Here is an exercise that sellers use.
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This is a series of articles that I will do on the subject of communication.
- Force yourself to do it as frequently as possible. Do not lock yourself in your home.
- What you need to do is to find a busy street in your city. After that it looks at people. look at them and try to find something you like about them. Do not be critical, simply watch and think that they may already be your friends and not perfect strangers. Look at their face and decide that they are friends. Do it until you feel better about talking to people.
If you know someone who might be interested in this article, share it with them.
I leave you with this question: Will you use these points that I have listed for you? Yes or no? Let me know with a comment below.
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